dragonblade0's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- fuck. Had my first bad day in a while. Now this is both a good and a bad thing. Bad, cause well, it’s been a bad day. But good in the sense that it’s been a while since I’ve had a bad day. Follow that? Good. So. I slept in till noon, having to be at babysitting by 12:30. fantastic start to the day. Got there, it wasn’t bad. But then Jen says to me, “I’m glad you’re hear, cause I’ve got to talk to you about something”. Ohhhh fuck. Turns out she’s slightly in debt and just can’t afford to keep me around full time. But she asked if I’d still be interested in a night every week…. or maybe every two weeks…. and I said sure, why not, some cash is better than none. When I get back to school on Monday I have to check in at the guidance office, see if they have any more people looking for babysitters. So this really isn’t a huge issue, but it still doesn’t make me feel all that great. She said I took it very well though. (a good thing? At least I know I won’t rip my employers head off if I get laid off one day) Next part of the equation… Having a few minor social issues. Not sure how this is going to work out in the end. But whatever. I was talking online to a friend, explaining the situation I’m in and they freaked right out, and won’t tell me something about the person I’m dealing with. And it’s really fucking weird, cause I don’t really know anything about this guy. Like, we have conversations where I just ask him any question that comes to mind, and he answers most of them. Only most though. He won’t talk once I start getting into things about him and his life… such things. Then the guy I was talking to online wouldn’t tell me something about him either. Says it’s “long, complicated, exhausting to tell, and too much for him to deal with” well that does me a whole lot of good. What the hell is with this. It’s like it’s impossible to get information about this guy. He won’t tell me, they won’t tell me. But really I shouldn’t be bothered, looking at the situation I’m in. but he’s a friend and I care, dammit, even though he says he doesn’t feel any emotion. I tell you, this guy is just right out there. Says he’s never actually happy, never good, never bad. Always meh. Something about the way he grew up. Won’t share that though. I ask him why he’s afraid to let people know him, cause that’s what I boiled it down to and he won’t tell me that either. His msn name is “THE DOOMED”. ‘why are you doomed?’ ‘don’t ask that please’. Alright…. sure. I think he’s something he’s not telling me. Somehow. Fuck. Ian’s gone to Kingston for the rest of the holidays. Which means we won’t be getting together to watch a dvd tomorrow like I’d hoped. That’s a little disappointing. I wanted to do something after babysitting, but everyones gone or can’t, or doing something else. So I figure, fine, might as well get some thing I need to buy, like my new favorite hair stuff, and other things. I call and ask my mom, but for some reason she gets the impression that I’m hiding something, leaving something out… dammit. And I wasn’t even! I could understand if I was actually planning on doing something I know she wouldn’t approve of. But she finally relented. So I went into town and bought my stuff. Spur of the moment I bought a bottle of Tylenol. Felt kinda guilty too, buying Tylenol. As if I shouldn’t, cause of my previous experiences with pain relievers. Bought it anyways. It’s sitting on my bed with everything else I bought, innoncent. Don’t you just love innocence.
9:49 p.m. - 2004-01-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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